Am I as spontaneously kind to God as I used to be, or am I only expecting God to be kind to me? Am I full of the sort of small, simple actions and thoughts that cheer his heart? Or am I constantly irritated, obsessed with the idea that things aren’t going my way?
There is no joy in the soul that has forgotten what God loves and needs. Think on this: God needs you. Do you know that? It is a great thing. “Will you give me a drink?” Jesus asked the Samaritan woman, counting on the spontaneous spark of goodness and charity that might lead someone from a different people, a different tribe, to offer help (John 4:7). We too must act in spontaneous joy and love for his sake—the sake of his reputation with others.
Do I remember how it was in the beginning of my relationship with him? God does: “I remember the devotion of your youth.” God remembers when I cared for nothing but him, when I had an extravagance of love for Jesus, when I would have gone anywhere, done anything, to prove my love.
Am I still so in love that I take no consideration for myself? Or have I grown calculating, always watching for the respect I think I deserve, weighing how much service I should give, asking if it’s worth it?
Remember as God remembers. And if you find that he is not what he used to be—your soul’s beloved—let it produce shame and humiliation. The shame will bring the goodly, godly sorrow that works repentance.
