There’s a difference between individuality and personality. Individuality is the husk of the personal life; it separates and isolates and must stand alone. Personality is something that can be merged and blended. Individuality is God’s natural covering for the personal life, but individuality must go so that the personal life can emerge and be brought into fellowship with God. Individuality is the characteristic of the child, and rightly so. But as we age, if we mistake individuality for personality, we will remain isolated. Individuality counterfeits personality in the same way that lust counterfeits love. God designed human nature for himself; individuality debases human nature for itself.

The hallmarks of individuality are independence and selfassertiveness. Continually asserting our individuality is what hinders our spiritual life more than anything else. If you say, “I can’t believe,” it’s because individuality is incapable of believing. Personality can’t help but believe. The Holy Spirit makes the difference clear. When the Holy Spirit is at work inside you, he pushes you to the margins of your individuality, forcing you to a crisis. Either you say “I won’t” or you surrender, breaking the shell of your individuality and letting your personal life emerge

When the Holy Spirit brings this crisis, he always narrows it down to one issue: “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,… first go and be reconciled” (Matthew 5:23–24). The thing inside you that refuses to be reconciled is your individuality. God wants to bring you into union with him, but he can’t if you’re unwilling to give up your right to yourself. When Jesus says that those who want to be his disciples “must deny themselves,” he means that they must give up their independent right to themselves. Only then will the real life have a chance to grow.

Wisdom from Oswald

The great word of Jesus to His disciples is Abandon. When God has brought us into the relationship of disciples, we have to venture on His word; trust entirely to Him and watch that when He brings us to the venture, we take it.
Studies in the Sermon on the Mount